Friday, January 26, 2007

Angry Transsexual?

I am often told I appear and sound angry. The fact I am Cuban, born in the wrong body, and have been told that I will burn in hell for my actions from a very young age, may or may not attribute to these feelings.. But what I don’t get is, why is it so wrong to express one’s emotions? From the moment we are born we are told not to cry, wine or express any or all emotions that are part of who we are. It’s just dead wrong,. Boys are not suppose to cry, girls need to act proper. For crying out loud, we can’t even express how we feel toward our government or religious institutions, without being considered a problem or dangerous. Well yeah, I get it, it’s a double standard. If you play nice with people and tell them what they want to hear, everything is okay. But as soon as you express your inner feelings, then you have a problem, right?

May I ask why? Why are we so afraid to show emotions? Why must we walk around life as if we are walking on egg shells? I would understand if this showing of emotion would create harm in anyway. For instance, If I decided to beat up on every person in my path, or destroy other people’s property. But taking this emotion and turning it into positive actions, can’t be all that bad? At least I have learned to redirect my feelings and actions into something positive and constructive. Not everyone may agree with me, but I know I have done more good than harm.

I advocate, rant and rave on many message boards. I will leave my signature in any type of forum. I strongly believe, that if you want to change the world, you have to be an active participant. So I use the internet, media, and print to my advantage. I express how I feel through words, when I see someone or a group of individuals that are preaching the wrong message, for instance the religious extremists, who try to make me or others like me feel like we are not worthy of God’s love, and will burn in hell. It’s all a matter of opinion and subjective reasoning. I will tell them what I think and try to set them straight. Who died and made them boss? Don’t they understand not everyone believes in God? There are many atheists in the world, or people who choose to believe in a deity that is none judgmental. But oh no, I don’t have a say, right away, they say I am angry and I have issues. They love to dish it out, but just can’t take it.

I make no excuses for who I am. I know where my heart is, and what I am all about. Yes I am intense, quite aware of it. But when life gives you lemons you quickly learn to make lemonade. I just make mine full octane and with a lot of punch. So for those who love me, I hope it only gets stronger, and for those who hate me, I hope you have fun doing it.


Colin said...

Hey Mark,

Great post. I love you, trans man to trans man. Keep it up.

Mark Angelo Cummings said...

I love you too brother. We have a voice and don't anyone ever forget it.

Strong Butch Lesbian (anti-testosterone) said...

If you're angry, it's probably because of that synthetic testosterone making you hairy and bald while probably shaving decades off your life expectancy in the process. I am 29 and DO NOT need that crutch in order to feel "comfortable in my own skin," nor have I ever tried it. The brave dare to change the WORLD, not THEMSELVES!!! I would much rather be a WHOLE WOMAN than a counterfeit "male" and wouldn't date one if "he" were the last person on Earth!!! We need more STRONG, BUTCH WOMEN, not hormone-created "men!"

Mark Angelo Cummings said...

I love you, and remember to always love yourself too.