Sunday, June 07, 2015

De Transitioning Diary Fom The Ex Trans Man On A Mission First Month




So, I decided to blog my de transition, and create a guide for those who are planning to stop taking T, stop identifying as a man or trans man, and try to lead a semi normal life. I have tried to find information out there but have come out with blanks. I am debating if I should go on Estrogen for a while to try to bring back some normalcy since I have no ovaries or any other form of hormone production.

It has been almost one month since I stopped taking T, and today for the first time,  I did feel a bit tired during my run, I think this is normal since sex hormones do provide the oomph that is necessary for activities, and I have no ovaries to produce my own. Well lets see how this goes.  I will be posting information videos and such to help create a diary for those who want information regarding de transitioning. If any of you want to share your experiences, please feel free to comment. Note I screen all comments now due to the haters, but will get to the comments and the legit ones will be allowed.

 Here are the changes on my first month of De Transitioning:


  • Hair growth still strong on my body and face.
  • Voice still deep, but a bit raspy, difficulty singing, feels like voice will crack
  • Mild headaches and fatigue
  • I am more aware of my emotions, T numbed me.
  • Letting my hair grow on my head, disappointed bald spot, very self conscious 
  • Hate shaving and no longer find it pleasurable as I did before, really hate anything that is too manly on my body or appearance. I am trying to find a balance in self, and recreating my look and identity. 


I find the path to De Transitioning is much more difficult and less support than for Transitioning. 12 years ago, when I decided to transition there was not much information out there, well it seems the same goes no for the other path. The lack of support and hatred towards the community against de transitioners is over whelming, we hope to change this with time.



12 comments:

sulumor romulus said...

I was 45 when I had my hysterectomy and was on estrodiol for about a year and then taken off of it. Medical community does not like having women on synthetic hormones for very long. Maybe consider yourself going through menopause at this time. There is fatigue with this change in life. Good luck in your de-transition.

Mark Angelo Cummings said...

I would only go on it for a very short amount of time to try to normalize myself, then I would go the natural approach. I have no ovaries, having had a full hysto, it makes it a bit harder I think. Thanks for your comments and advice, really appreciate it.

Anonymous said...

Hi , I am surprised at the lack of medical advice regarding de transitioning. I would have thought that this would be an important and necessary initiative that all professionals would have made allowance for. There are people out there that have re-evaluated their decision and I hope you are able to be safe as you go through this process. Charlie

shaikh of apps said...

Interested and like to know more ... I'm on the same path my self ... I decided the de-transtion last March and stopped T since then .. I'm re-growing my hair and using Ducray products and capsules .. they are good but you need to keep taking them for months to see the best results ... hair is still thin but baby hair is growing in the bold areas .

Mark Angelo Cummings said...

Indeed there is very little information out there and I am glad I have created awareness on this topic. Although my detransition has a different meaning from most, I have come to terms that I will not fully be returning to whom I was, I can't change the changes in me and am happy to present as dual gendered, gender variant or whatever words fits who I am. I do however encourage people to make sure this is what they want, because there is no turing back really.

Mark Angelo Cummings said...

Hello Shaikh, how long where you on T? I am finding that 12 years in my case is much more difficult.

shaikh of apps said...

About 8 years now .. Sustanon 250 once a month ...

Mike said...

I, for one, and manhy others I know - don't hate or frown upon ANYONE for wanting to de-transition. If you aren't happy where you're at in life, by all means, do what does make you happy! The problem wasn't the decision to stop - it was in the delivery of the message. Best to you.

Mark Angelo Cummings said...

My actual de transitioning is not your typical de transitioning, I no longer identify as trans but instead as gender variant. The delivery got misconstrued due to the batching I received when exposing certain things regarding blockers, and the attempt to explain what my definition of transgenderism was. I didnt mean to hurt anyone while doing so, just got angered at the response and how some in the community went on a witch hunt and had my sponsors removed. But I am in a better place now, and I am seeing things in a different light. I am just me, and in touch with both Maritza and Mark, creating a better me.

Mike said...

I get that, and I truly do wish you the best. I am glad you're in a better place. It's easy to generalize - I am guilty of that too at times. And I get angry too - at the misconception that the trans community hates and goes after people who decide to de transition - I see it a lot. It isn't that most of us care that someone decides to stop, either early in the process or years later. It's just that so often, those people, rather than just recognizing that those decisions weren't right for them - start making accusations and generalizations about transition and those who do it. For many, myself included, it is what made my life the life I want. It saved my life. I wish you and Lynna no ill will, and I do hope that you find what makes you whole and happy.

Mark Angelo Cummings said...

Thank you Mike, wishing you lots of health and clarity

Anonymous said...

I've been off testosterone, after 6+ years on, for about two and a half months. Before that I gradually reduced for about six months. I had no surgeries, and apparently the hormone didn't do permanent damage, so my body can produce estrogen. I was terrified, but I'm doing great. I'm sorry this part of de/un transition has been removed for you and so many other women. I hope to at least show that it can be done sometimes...but must be done before it's too late. Peace & joy, -a.m.