Monday, November 30, 2015

The Loses

Opening my eyes after the aftermath is pretty difficult to say the least. The voices of I told you so come to mind, the pictures in my mind from all the events that lead to the big decision and reactions of those around me, "I am transitioning", "I was born in the wrong body" words that I pounded on those I love.

I see now how crazy it was, I see myself in the faces of the youth, I was so sure of my decision and so on board with the trans narrative that is devastating the lives of many. What is actually wrong with us, what would possess us to do such atrocities and justify them as right? What will it take to make people wake up from this nightmare they claim to be a life saver and dream?  The claims that people are happier, in a better mental place than ever before is only based on the sugar pill approach, for it is so apparent that after the novelty wears off, there issues are still there and the need for more is evident. Surgery after surgery, irresponsible behavior after behavior, the lack of self esteem returns, why are people not being truthful?

The denial that no matter what they do to themselves they will never achieve the ultimate goal of being the opposite sex. They are being lied to and lead by a system that only cares about profit, telling a male bodied individual that they can look like a woman. Unless you are born with androgynous features, small boned, small hands and feet and facial features that will provide you with that feminine look, no matter what you do, you will always be clocked, those are just the facts.

Realize that if your happiness depends on the validation of others, you will never be happy. If your life is based on looks, then you will be heading on a very disappointing ride. You are aging, the aging of a man cannot be hidden with cosmetics or hormones, you will at best look like a freak, just look at the older trans role models and see what they look like. Lynn Conway, Rene Richards, Sylvia Rivera, Lana Lawless and many more who have not grown old gracefully nor healthily due to the lifestyle, stress from surgical procedures and lets us not forget synthetic hormones.  This agenda is based on sex and looks, on fetishes and self gratification wrapped in one big ball of mental issues that everyone is missing. Men cannot be women, science has fortified you an illusion that will come tubmling down as you grow older and all the complications that come with this madness. 

The selling point of this agenda is what about the suicide rates? Well what about them, suicide is a mental condition that needs to be taken care of, people don't always get what they want. When people claim to want to take their life because they can't get what they want, that is just wrong and plainly narcissistic. There are too many loses in this endeavor and those responsible for allowing humans to undergo this, should be held accountable. Let us return to our sanity for the trans agenda is full of loses and pain that never, ever goes away.

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Living Life After Detransitioning :The Early Stages

At Work as an Occupational Therapist 1996

It has been two weeks since I have fully detransitioned and feel, well, fantastic. I am fully embracing my truth, and disregarding the untruth that lead my life for the past 13 years. There are lots of logistics to work through, like changing all my documents and return to my rightful birth name Maritza, but all in due time. Right now I am focusing on cleaning out every testosterone traces from my body. I will need laser or electrolysis for my face and body and I will also be needing a hair transplant to regain my beautiful hair back. How long this will this take? I don't know, but those are goals that I have set up for myself. I feel strong and even more empowered than I have ever before. I feel healthy as of now, but it has only been a few weeks since I am hormone free. I have no ovaries so I might need estrogen, but I will play that by ear and see how my body responds, after all there are many women who at my age (51) and who do not take any HRT at all, do just fine.

I am going to recreate myself, and feel free in my body and mind. Not being what everyone else wants me to be. If I would have followed that formula before, I would not have gotten myself into this mess in the first place.  Feeling free with being me is of the most importance as well as my health. I find that being on hormones is like playing Russian Roulette, it is only a matter of time when that bullet is in the chamber and goes right through your head. So, from now on I will fight for authenticity and truth. Helping people realize what being true really is, not some made up version of who they think they should be.

Live life to the fullest, be kind to everyone around you, don't keep any secrets, take good care of yourselves and most of all, Love, love unconditionally and that means yourself as you are.

2 weeks Detransition

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Turning The Pages: Welcome Back

Just as the moment of death when your life flashes before you, I feel that's where I am at, at this moment in time.  I transitioned in 2003, had quite the journey and paved my path, yet,  In the end, I found out that what I did solved absolutely nothing. I am no more a man today than I was Dec 23 2003 when I underwent a 7 hour procedure that consisted of a double mastectomy, laparoscopy induced radical hysterectomy and oophorectomy. I mutilated myself as many do in the quest of "changing" their sex.  Now I look back and think "what was I thinking"?    I became bald, hairy, scared and maimed, but a man, I am not. I know many in the trans community think they can magically change who they are by undergoing these procedures and taking dangerous hormones, but if they closely examined this, they would soon find out, that they are wrong.  How many women under go radical hysterectomies and mastectomy's due to cancer or other health issues? They are still women, not men. How many genetically born females have excess androgen and suffer from all sorts of  hormonal imbalances, having a deeper voice, hair in places they don't want, and lose the hair on their heads, many. Yet, they are still women.

My siblings and I

How many men are born with an extreme feminine personalities, love everything nice and pink, yet, are men. Yes that's right folks, this latest notion that we can change our bodies to become something else, does not make us that something else we wish to be.  We are only making fools of ourselves and the medical community lots of money. Save your money, and spend your time helping others, get out of your head and self for a minute, and realize that your gender dysphoria is not the most important thing in this world.

Mom and I

Now, lets talk a little bit about my de transitioning and this blog. I hope to be able to bring some awareness to this matter, and dive deep, deeper than most have ever cared to dive into. I did what I did back in 2003, because I believed that this fantasy was possible. But when the years passed, I realize that this was just another impulse driven by my need to belong and feel "normal"  Boy was I wrong, I have felt less normal since my transition and there was never a day, I didtn think of myself as an imposter, and oh yes a freak. I would look in the mirror and see the scars and my excessively hair body and bald head, and at times I just wanted to scream. I,  being Maritza, the real person in this body, who had to step aside for this destructive individual who ruined everything Maritza worked so hard to build. You think you are being true to yourself, but like an episode or a scene from invasion of the body snatcher, your new creation is slowly destroying everything you ever where, created or loved.

So now its time to turn the page, and start a new chapter, or maybe even a book. Maritza is back and will no longer allow this fabrication called Mark to continue to ruin her life. So I say to you old friend, I know you meant well, and in a sense was created to protect Maritza from all the bad things men have done in her life. I know your heart was in the right place, but I am sorry to say, your time is up, and you can now leave us alone and in peace. Your destruction will forever leave scars in our lives, but the time for healing is now. So goodbye Mark and welcome back Maritza, you have a life ahead of you and lots of healing to do.

Dad and I

Friday, November 27, 2015

Breaking Down Gender Dysphoria

So what is this condition that all of a sudden has swept our world? Why all of a sudden are our youth, children and middle aged adults claiming to be born in the wrong body? What an interesting concept and illusion. A person who has raised children, lived happily married and showed no signs of femininity is claiming to be a woman? They claim to have felt this way from a very young age, yet no one had a clue? Now I have been called a conspiracy nut for claiming many strange happenings in our world since my awakening back in 2008, I won't get into all my beliefs on this blog entry today, but lets just say I don't believe our history, the stories we have been told about our creator, and that we are just born to then die and be a slave to this system, there has to be more than meets the eye. My beliefs are deep and out of this world, and I believe that this whole Trans agenda has not just happened out of coincidence.

As I wrote on my blog entry yesterday, many men are being de masculinized and are claiming to be the opposite sex, women are wanting to be men and everyone is quite confused. Don't get me wrong, there have been two spirited people through out history and many people have chosen to express themselves freely through out life, but this whole medicalization of gender, has gone way too far.

So what is Gender Dysphoria or should I say Gender Identity Disorder, notice that the movement created the change from a mental issue to more of a biological etiology, wonder why? Lets break down this massive cluster one piece at a time. A person claims to have a different body then that what their brain identifies. That is impossible, brain and body are the same, brains are not gendered but created through our experiences and stimulations. There is no such thing as a male liver or heart, you get the picture. Society has pushed a feminization of men and have really taken away a true right of passage to adult hood and now we have what we clearly see today. You guessed it, a human that is not capable of fending for itself, dependent on the system and unable to think for themselves. Men don't have the actual gusto they had in the past to change or revolt, and women have had to step up to the plate. Now I am not saying anything derogatory here, so please lets not make it into a political fight about men vs women and so on. Its just a simple observation of the facts of life.  I believe men and women are equal or should be, and everything does not rely on gender or roles. Humans have a variety of personality, and the system has created sheep and now are herding them into their pen.

The fear of being rejected for being true to yourself creates falsehood, hence the world we live in, everyone wants to be someone or something else.  All these individuals that pay droves of money to change their face, their genitals and total appearance to be something they are not and never will be are in need of real help; sex is not negotiable or changeable. Why can't they be brave enough to be a man who is feminine and eclectic, instead of claiming to be born in the wrong body and now a female or visa versa. Our world has created neurotic individuals who will do anything to escape reality. How can anyone fear their gender or dislike who they were born as? That is ridiculous and frankly beyond belief.  The truth is we live in a world that loves fair tales, science fiction and magic tricks. Gender Dysphoria is nothing more than an excuse to escape who you are, to follow through with all your body dysmorphia needs and basically disfigure who you once where. Let us not feed into this new fad and craze and let us be true to ourselves, because if we keep this up, force sterilization of our youth will bring an outcome that those on top of the pyramid want, population control.


Thursday, November 26, 2015

The Pain: A Day Of Giving Thanks

Having been around, dated and lived with many transgender females in the past, it has provided me a with information that many are not privy to. Many of these so called Male to Trans are dealing with deep rooted issues that stem from lack of self worth, anger and frustration. They failed as men, fathers, husbands and in many other aspects of life. They had poor to no relationships with their fathers, some never got to meet them, and  now feel as if they cannot fulfill the role of manhood in life since they never were taught how.

The "dream" of being a woman is deep for many, its as if they wish they could run away from reality and their responsibility while "becoming" the other sex, thinking this will solve all their problems, but in reality, the problems only worsens and now they have to face the catastrophe they created and left behind.  The same pattern is seen in Female to Trans, with of coarse changing the roles and gender.

There is lots of pain in this community, pain that is not being addressed properly, instead some pseudo treatment that only creates bigger issues and enhances the problems in the end. On a day like today, there are many hurt trans identified individuals who miss being home with their families and friends, and may even be feeling regret. They are in so much pain they can't even appreciate who and what they have around them. So my question is, was it worth it? Changing your gender marker can lead to bigger problems you ever anticipated, please think it through, because not only are you hurting yourself, you are also creating a title wave of hurt with every move you make.

I want to take this time to wish everyone a peaceful, love filled Day of Thanks, remember how many died for you to sit with your family today, how many gave up their land and home.  Let us be grateful for what and who we have in our lives today, cause tomorrow, you never know what brings.

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Transsexualism Is An Addiction

When we step out of the normal balance of life there are many things that happen. One of these things is called imbalance, the typical state of disease. The world we live in is filled with synthetics, the behavior we engage in is unnatural and the things we do and crave are very abnormal. With in this abnormality there are things that have become common and seen as normal. The side effects of our behavior create addictions, which leads to more addiction, then shame, then more addiction, it is quite the vicious cycle.

Addiction comes in many forms and there are genetic factor behind it, it never really leaves you, it just takes on different forms.  I have always had a an addictive personality, my father has it, and I believe my grandfather did too.  Lets say that I have lived my life chasing happiness, getting myself in all sorts of trouble but have had the sense to stop doing things that were dangerous to my health, that is, once I saw that I was in danger. One of the my addictions was the obsession with loosing weight and looking good, this got me into bodybuilding, which lead me to the use of ergogenics that spiraled into another addiction called transsexualism.

The worse kind of addictions are the kind you allow to take over your life, the ones that destroys everything in its path, the one that makes you love it, more than you. You know, the addiction that will get you to steal, lie, and leave everything behind, including putting your health in jeopardy. Yes, that pretty much sums up what transgenderism does to you, if you don't believe me, just read through the countless Face Book pages, they all have the same narratives, from those who are caught in this addictions grip. Nothing matters, but becoming that gender you think you are.  Selfie after selfies, procedures after procedure, broken hearts and loss after loss, with the outcome being emptiness, depression and further suicide, for once the addict finds out that their delusion is nothing more than a pipe dream, reality sets in and devastation takes over.

Take a look at the very similar behaviors of individuals in the trans community. They all have the same things in common, body image issues, obsessive nature, anxiety, anger, lack of coping and social skills and not to mention being able to deal with reality.  Even after transitioning these characteristic follow them, with a few reprieve in behavior, only to return. The only way to fight these demons, is to face them, to realize that there is nothing wrong with your body, that it is your need to belong, and in the quest of belonging you do whatever it takes to get there. The obsession with changing gender takes center stage and like a run away train, you will not stop till the train crashes, taking with you hostages that did not sign up for the ride.

Only an addict believes that their drug of choice is good for them and will make them happy, they defend it and honor it, for it is their delusion, that transitioning is what is right for them and makes them happy. It doesnt matter that there is no actual objective reasoning for their plight, only living out a fantasy which they hold on to for dear life.

As an addict to another, please realize that this time, this addiction has taken you way too far. It is not worth losing it all, because in the end biology is none negotiable and all you have done is destroyed a wonderful human being, who is loved and missed by those you left behind.

Hello my name is Maritza Cummings, and I am a recovering transgender addict.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Looking Back

The way to learn from our mistakes and heal is to analyze our life and the path we have chosen. Many people might want to call it regret, I like to call it growth. Sometimes we think one way in a certain stage of our lives, and then we find our views change as we grow older and wiser. I have made tons of mistakes in my life time, too many to mention, but one thing I do know is those mistakes help shape the person I am today. So no need crying over spilled milk or regretting a thing, I will just wipe my knees and move on.

I know now that I allowed fear to lead my life in so many ways, I also allowed the lack of self love to shape my world and life. I no longer feel I was born in the wrong body, what a crazy notion that was. I can say that decision was not sane, and if I would have had the proper therapies, as many are not getting, I would have never undergone such a drastic move.  You tell a therapist what they are trained to hear, and you get a letter, hormones, and surgery, its that easy, and that is just wrong. 

Mutilation of healthy breasts

I had body dysmorphic disorder, self esteem issues, I was sexually abused from a young age, and bad experiences with men, all which leads us into a path that is, well lets say, absurd. Now I don't want to speak for every, I am learning that this disclaimer is need to prevent the mob from attacking, but I do want to say that it is important to really do soul searching and get as much help as you can before you embark on the trans disaster train. We are seeing way too many young people buying this trans agenda and ruining their lives. 

Any how, I am excited for what lies ahead, it's not going to be easy, but I know that it's what I must do to make things right with myself. I look in the mirror now, comparing the pictures of my youth when I had not messed with myself.  I can't help but feel sadness and shame. But I do hope that my journey will help others, that way I won't feel like my life has been such a waste. 

I want to take this time to thank all of my sisters out there, who are being supportive of me. I want to thank Lynna, whom I know my decision has been hard to  deal with, but this is who I am, and I can't no longer continue to live a lie. How ironic is that not what most people say, when they transition? 

Monday, November 23, 2015

Relationships and Healing

My parents divorced and I am now left to pick up the pieces and the start of a new life.  I had so many relationships, trying to find my identity and place in the world. All relationships were with females, yet, I could not be placed in a box, was I butch or was I  fem? I could not find the answer to that riddle, nor did I care to fit in any box. Fast forward many years and I found myself involved with a bisexual female whom I ended up transitioning with, and married for 10 years.  Life was good, I became a fierce advocate for what I thought at the time was the right path.

I since have changed the way I think, and have gotten to know many in the trans community. I no longer see life in the eyes of gender, I see life as a learning to tool, and gender just another tool of division for the masses.  Violet and I divorced, remaining friends, but realizing that I needed more, I continued in the quest to find love and to find myself.  I believe that many in the trans community are trying to do the same, except they get caught in the turmoil of wanting others to see them, instead of just seeing themselves. They try so hard to fit into a gender box, feeling they belong, just like a teen joins a gang to feel a sense of family and normalcy. But what is normal, why are humans so broken and their search to find happiness leads them into destruction of everything they built and loved?

If you listen to the narratives and really unfold the life of many in this community, you will find a common theme, brokenness, hurt, some sort of trauma, be it sexual abuse, religious dogma, not fitting in the gender they where born as, because of coarse they, did not make it as a "man" or a "woman", so they must be the opposite gender, right?  Because they "feel" trapped, "feel" wrong, so they need to fix it?  Well the body is not the problem, it is how they view the world, and how they "feel" they can't fit in, so escape is the only answer.

I find that until a trans person stops living in denial, and accept reality, they will continue on the vicious cycle they have started. It destroys everyone around them, and themselves. They can't ever find peace, and will continue to leave a destructive path, wherever they go.

Now, where am I in the scheme of things? Well, I no longer which to fight with my heart and head. I no longer wish to battle with anyone, I just want to be and be free, and I find that I cannot be free living a life that the Universe did not intend me to live in.  I am speaking for myself so before I get all the haters jumping down my throat as many have in the past, I want to say that this is my journey, my thoughts and my life. I no longer wish to poison my body with unnatural hormones that do not belong inside of me. I no longer wish to pull the wool over anyones eye, I just want to live and live in a place where I don't have to force the world to see what I want them to see, I just want to be me, no labels, no boxes, just me.

So anyways, the time to heal is now. It has been a long and tiring road, what lies ahead is lots of uncertainties, but I am ready for whatever comes my way. I am a woman, always have been, always will be. For those that are claiming womanhood because they "feel" they are, I can only say this to you, feelings has nothing to do with who you are, we can't just feel we hate something, so therefore I will be something else. Biology is biology which ever way you slice it. Express away is all I have to say, but make sure you are aware of who you are, and try not fall into the trap of delusion, because in the end it is you, you will hurt, and that is a hard pill to swallow when the years pass and you have to face you in that mirror.

To be continued.......

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Secrets Unfolding

Well, where was I? Ah yes, I was telling you about my hang ups during childhood,  being cross eyed, having self hatred, suffering from loneliness and not being able to fit in, because of all of my "differences"while growing up.  I might as well have said I was from Mars, oh wait, I did say that. Did I mention that after awhile in junior high school, I told one of my classmates, that I was from Mars after being tired of not fitting in and always feeling out of place, well, they started calling me Martian after that?

Adults can be cruel, but kids have a way of getting under your skin beyond measure. I hated school, could not understand the concept of sitting in a class room all day long listening to a person ramble about things that really didn't matter. As if that was not bad enough, having to deal with all sorts of different personalities from individuals who I could clearly see where hurting and trying to be what they were not. No one made any sense to me and everyone seem to live in their own reality. How I ever made it through school was beyond me.

Home life was no better, my parents worked real hard to provide for their kids and never really spent much time with me at all, I was an only child till the age of 8 till my sister came along. It was a bit of a shock at first to have to share what little attention I did get with someone else,  but of coarse now I don't feel the same.  I could not imagine life with out my younger sister or brother. She is an amazing young woman and I am so very proud of her and her accomplishments. My brother who came along 16 later, is a married man, who recently had a child of his own.

But lets go back to my childhood for a brief moment. I want to touch upon something really horrible that happened to me back then, not to dwell on it but  just to touch upon it. I believe I have worked through it now, I was sexually abused.  I was 8 years old, and a friend of the family, whom was like a grandfather to me and whom my family trusted, got access to our home while my parents were at work. He began to touch me inappropriately and to tell you the truth, I don't remember every detail about it, but it happened till I was 12 years old, when I finally asked him to stop. Why I didn't stop him earlier, I don't know? He gave me gifts, lots of attention and knew the right things to say.  I don't know if I felt special or more like an adult because of what he was doing, or maybe because I was too scared to rock the boat and hurt this mans place in our family, I kept silent for all those years. I can't really answer why, nor do I think I am ready to open up that can of worms but I did reveal it to my mother later on in my adult years.  I do want to mention, I  am not traumatized by this event, nor do I feel like a victim.  I have never played that role in life, I just suck things up and move forward. I have never gone to therapy to deal with it, I do feel that it has not hindered my sexual relationships in life, nor do I hate men for it, or any of that jazz. I do have problems trusting people and have lack of self worth.

So I won't go into all the sexual details of what he did or did not do during those 4 years time but I believe that many in the lgbt community and outside of it have had some sort of sexual abuse, at least that is what the old man lead me on to believe, that everyone has a special "friend" when they are younger that shows them about sex.  I will talk more about my theory regarding this in future blog entries, as I unravel the reasons behind gender confusion and sex change, but for now, lets just say that my life would have been totally different had this even not occurred.

I was very sexual after being introduced to sex at such a young age, sexual, not in having sex with other people that is, but  sexual as in exploring my own body, and had a hunger to learn how to pleasure myself and others. I was provided sexual magazines and books by my abuser and I felt that for such a young person I knew about sex more than most in my age group.  As I grew older, I started wanting to date young men, but after they too tried to engage in sexual relationships with me without my consent, I became turned off and therefore stopped dating men all together. To tell you the truth, I preferred being alone and masturbating in my room this way I would not get hurt emotionally and it felt safer that way.

Years went by and I fell in love with a girl in high school, she was in my drama class and there began my interest in women. She had no interests in girls, in fact she was straight the same as me. We had a few school projects together and before you know it, we started to explore. We had some really nice moments together, until we got caught and needless to say, well,  that is another chapter on its own. In fact I did right about this experience in my book The Mirror Makes No Sense, a book I wrote during my trans advocacy years, girl, do things change.

Fast forward a few years, I graduated high school, became heart broken because Denise and I were forced apart by family and now my heart was guarded and never to let any emotions back in.  Trying to find myself I joined the forces and then followed a trail of relationships in search of my lost heart and soul.

To be continued......

Saturday, November 21, 2015

The Shadows

Ever since I was a little kid, I always felt I did not belong. I had problems making friends, and I almost felt as if I was the parent, in my home. Don't get me wrong, my parents tried, all good parents do, they are just not equipped at times and never received the manual. Now, I was very responsible, did not like to play, I instead preferred to sit around with the adults and engage in conversations, but I was quickly informed to go outside or go play with my "friends".

Yeah on that note, friends were really acquaintances, and people I engaged with to past time. But I never felt I connected with anyone, ever, and that made me sad. In high school, I had one whopping friend who was just as eccentric as me, so we got along, listening to music and talking about important things in life.  Raul graduated before me, he was two years ahead and I was left alone, yet again. My parents got divorced and I quickly found away to escape and joined the Army. Boy (there we go using a male pronoun again), was that a mistake. I was forced to grow up even faster, dealt with more isolation, abuse and loneliness.

Fast forward some more, I now am dealing with weight issues, I hated physical activities and the army pushed me and took me places I did not want to go. Running and engaging in heavy activities where definitely not my cup of tea. Eating disorders developed, I grew fatter and unhappier as the years went by.  I did not like who I was, and although many would flatter me and shower me with compliments, my ears did not hear and my heart did not see. The vicious cycle of dieting, throwing up, engaging in drug abuse and hating myself continued. But no one knew, I kept it all in silence, after all I had a great smile and used it to hide my pain.

Glimpses of my youth come to mind, inside the fitting room, trying on clothes I was 8 years old. "Tuck that stomach in, look at that belly, your too fat", she said. I hated clothes shopping, it was no fun, why can't we just be naked.  To this day dressing rooms are a place of horror for me, and my stomach a point of distress and pain.

"Are you looking at me or at her"? Yes, a typical question that after a while was like finger nails scratching down a chalk board. Being cross eyed did nothing for my self esteem, even after under going 2 operations at the age of one, my eyes worked against each other and my ability to learn was affected greatly. I hated school and I hated life, why am I here.......

To be continued.........

Friday, November 20, 2015

A New Day

Hello everyone my name is Maritza Cummings and I am recovering gender addict. I close my eyes, and my life flashes before my very eyes. Who am I, what am I, where have I been and where am I going? I shake my head, I wipe my eyes, I look within, and here I am.
Many of you know me as the controversial once trans identified trans man, an identity that was given to me by society, the players, the haters the lovers, and my own egocentric self. Yes narcissism was a way of life for me, I created the perfect "man", a specimen to be admired, so I thought. But in reality who was I kidding? A hairy chest, back and face, coupled with muscles and a sexy raspy voice worthy of radio broadcast, but in the end, inside the deep center of it all, I am a woman, a scared little girl, who just wanted to be held and loved. 
So here I stand in front of the world, in front of me, the soul that has been through so much in this life, and I ask, what next? I have been on hormones since 2003, as well as dabbled in bodybuilding which made it easier to cross the gender border. It was easy as pie to change my physique, after all pharmaceuticals makes it easy to create whatever you want. But what did I do? I altered my life and body all in the quest to help society push us into their box, the box they feel comfortable with us being in.  
In our society, girls have to look a certain ways as do boys, and mannerisms, well lets not even mention those, careful how you walk, talk and dress. If I can accomplish anything and learn from my life events is this, I will never feed into what the system wants. I will do everything within my power to change things, even if its only me I am changing.
Look out world, for this fierce woman is back, Ritz Cummings will  rise up from the ashes, wipe her knees and stand proud and tall, as the woman I was born to be. No wrong body, no wrong theme, what needs to change is not the way society sees me, but how I see society. 
Words are changing our world, let us realize that who we are is not a pronoun or a feeling, but who we are is etched deep inside our soul. After all we are spirits having a human experience, let us not give away our power to those that are trying to make us powerless